Memoirs of a glee amnesiac

Memoirs of a glee amnesiac

Of course, the idea of Blaine kissing anyone other than him was anything short of appealing to Kurt, but he wasn't delusional. Eventually that bottle would point at someone, and while Kurt cherished the idea that it might be him, the reality was it was unlikely. So, instead Kurt had decided to hope for something a little more realistic. A girl. Any girl. Not that any of the New Directions guys weren't straight, but they weren't exactly unattractive, and Blaine had had a lot to drink. So, a girl would be ideal, no chance of any kind of spark there. Preferably someone he was close with, like Mercedes, who would give him a quick peck on the cheek and be done with it, but really any girl was better than a guy. It was for this reason that Kurt had been relieved when the bottle's nose and stopped at Rachel. He and Rachel were friends, and he knew she was no where close to being over Finn, despite what she said. What he had not taken into account, however, was the alcohol. On Blaine's part he had, but not on Rachel's. And it had to be the alcohol, because there was no way either of them would be sucking the other's face without it. When she'd grabbed Blaine's shirt collar and pulled him in for a deep kiss, Kurt had almost felt sorry for her, any feeling of pity had evaporated the minute he realized Blaine was kissing her back. Really kissing her. The way Kurt had imagined kissing him on numerous occasions.
"Okay," Kurt said as happily as he could. "I think we've seen enough." They appeared to have not heard him. Kurt's plastered on smile didn't falter, though. No one could know his heart was breaking. No one could see him cry. Kurt couldn't lose his dignity; it seemed to be all he had left. From across the room, Finn caught his eye and his concern was unmistakable. Kurt attempted and I'm-okay look, but Finn didn't appear to be buying it. Mercedes cleared her throat, but still the kissing continued. Finally, Finn interjected.
"Dude," he said, pushing Blaine back a little roughly. "That's enough." Kurt wasn't sure if the act had been out of pity for him, or because Finn didn't like watching Rachel making out with anyone else. Either way, Kurt was grateful.
"Finn," Rachel exclaimed drunkly. "What is your problem?!"
"You're just supposed to kiss someone," Finn said. "Not full on make out with them." Blaine laughed in an incredibly drunk way.
"Sorry," he drawled. "Whose-whose turn is it?" He picked up the bottle, but dropped, causing him, Rachel, and a few others in the circle to burst out laughing. He picked it up and held it out to Kurt, even though, technically speaking, you weren't really supposed to move the bottle from its spot in the middle, just spin it.
"Kurt?" He was still laughing and Kurt stared at him, then the bottle.
"Actually," Kurt said. "I'm gonna go get a refill," he shook the Pepsi filled cup in his hand before fleeing the room. Once in the kitchen, Kurt leaned against the counter and let out a deep breath.
"You okay?" He turned around. Finn, who had only had a few drinks so far, approached him. Kurt nodded.
"Are you okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be," Finn asked.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know, maybe because your supposedly gay friend just practically ate Rachel's face off?"
"Blaine and I aren't together," he said coolly. "He can eat the face off of anyone he wants."
"Take it easy, Kurt. I'm just trying to look out for you. We're brothers now."
"Don't act concerned for me because you feel like you have some obligation to. I can take care of myself." Kurt left the kitchen.
"Kurt," Finn called, but Kurt ignored him. It wasn't Finn's fault. Kurt knew he actually was just trying to look out for him. The fact was that Kurt was just in an awful mood and didn't really want to talk to anyone. I hope Finn's not to upset, Kurt thought as he navigated through the people in Rachel's house, going in no general direction. Maybe I should- A crash made Kurt's head turn and he spotted Blaine lying on the ground, giggling hysterically. Kurt rolled his eyes and, despite the fact that whenever he looked at Blaine all he could see was Rachel attached to his face, he walked over and helped his friend up.
"Come on," he said to the still laughing Blaine. With Blaine's arm swung around his shoulder, he led him to the closest empty room he could find and flicked on the lights. A bedroom. Lovely. Kurt pushed Blaine's arm off his shoulder and he fell on the bed laughing. He sighed and sat in a nearby chair, watching as Blaine rolled over onto his back.
"Great party," he drawled, sitting up clumsily. "I'm having so much fun! Are you having fun, Kurt?"
"Oh tons," he said sarcastically. Blaine frowned and attempted to stand twice, before finally finding his footing.
"What is the matter with you?"
"Nothing." Kurt could hear the sadness in his own voice.
"So-," Blaine tripped and stumbled, somehow managing to catch himself by putting on hand on each arm of Kurt's chair. Blaine laughed in his face and Kurt got a strong whiff of alcohol.
"So smile," Blaine continued. "Have a few drinks. It's a party!"
"I think you've had enough drinks for the both of us." Blaine just giggled and Kurt rolled his eyes.
"I can share," Blaine said. He moved his face forward quickly and their lips barely touched before Kurt shoved him off and stood up, one hand over his mouth,
"What the hell was that," he exclaimed.
"What," Blaine slurred.
"That! You can't just kiss me!"
"Why not?"
"Because! You can't shove your tongue down Rachel's throat then try and do the same to me! That's not how it works, Blaine!"
"Rachel," he said, as though he was trying to remember who that was. "Rachel? It was just a game, Kurt."
"Yes, I realize that. But, like Finn said, you're not supposed to full on make out with the other person." Blaine shrugged.
"I've never played before." Kurt scoffed.
"That's not even close to a liable excuse."
"A what?" Blaine shook his confused head. "Come on Kurt. It's not like I felt anything." Kurt leaned his back against the wall.
"Did you?"
"Of course not." Kurt found this hard to believe. If Blaine hadn't felt anything, then why had the kiss lasted so long?
"Listen Kurt," Blaine said. It came out more like "Lisssnkurt" though. "I'm just gonna' tell you something now, because I probably won't have the guts to do it in the morning." He walked (as best he could) up to Kurt. "I like you. Hell, I think I even love you." Kurt's heart leapt and struggled to remind himself that Blaine was drunk. "So, if there's anyone I want to be kissing." His face was right in front of Kurt's. "It's you." This time, Kurt didn't push Blaine off. And it was sloppy, and it tasted like rye, vodka, and beer. But it was also amazing, and wonderful, and incredible. Kurt was soaring, and he never wanted to come back down.
***
Kurt searched through Rachel's cupboard for Coffee. Beside him, Sam was trying to find a couple mugs. He shoved a plate aside and it clanged. There was a chorus of groans from the table.
"Sam," Finn warned rubbing his temples. Finn hadn't started downing the drinks as early as everyone else, but when he had, Kurt  discovered he could really down them.
"Sorry," Sam, who hadn't drank at all, said. "It's not my fault her cups are hidden. Seriously, there's nothing in here but plates."
"Here," Kurt said, putting the instant coffee on the table. "Try the other one." He opened the door to the right and pulled out four mugs and Sam grabbed four more. After making all the coffee Kurt and Sam passed it around. Sam joined the group at the table and Kurt leaned against the counter, taking a long sip of his coffee.
"How come you guys are fine," Santana complained from the table.
"Beer would mess up my body," Sam said. "And you don't mess with perfection." All eyes turned on Kurt.
"I don't believe in heavy drinking," he said simply.
"I may have to join you in that belief," Mercedes moaned. There was a groan from the doorway and Kurt looked up. Blaine's vest was gone and his white shirt was crumpled. He ran his hand threw his messy curls.
"Kill me now," he moaned.
"Morning sunshine," Kurt said cheerily. He didn't miss the odd looks he got from the group for the comment, but chose to ignore them. He passed Blaine a glass of water and he drank it gratefully.
"Was I hit by a truck last night or something?" Kurt laughed softly.
"Well you fell over, but I'd blame that pounding in your head on your excessive drinking."
"I fell over? I don't remember that."
"That's not surprising."
"Rachel wanted to play spin the bottle." Kurt tensed a bit. Though Blaine had assured Kurt he felt no attraction towards Rachel whatsoever, the memory of the kiss they'd shared still made him upset and slightly sick.
"Yeah, she really got into it," Puck said. "But you know that." Blaine looked up.
"I do?" They all looked at him and he stared back wide-eyed.
"You don't remember," Kurt said, a little more excitedly than he'd meant to.
"Remember what? I mean, no. The last thing I remember is Rachel asking who wanted to play spin the bottle. Why? Did something happen?" A couple people opened their mouths to tell him their rendition on last night's events, but Kurt cut them off.
"Wait," he said, staring into Blaine's eyes. "So you don't remember anything?" Like kissing me. Blaine stared back.
"Nothing. Why? What happened?" Kurt sighed and tried to hide his disappointment.
"Nothing," he said, turning to face the group. "Nothing happened." They seemed to take the hint and everyone at the table averted their eyes. Blaine looked at them suspiciously, but before he could say anything, Rachel burst into the kitchen with messy clothes and messier hair.
"Okay, okay," she said, clearly trying not to hyperventilate. "My dads are going to be home in three hours, the house is a mess, and I feel like my head's about to explode." She ran over to the sink and ran the water over the dirty dishes and began running around the kitchen, picking things up.
"How did the place get so messy? Does anybody have any Advil?!" Kurt had Advil. Or rather, he knew where some Advil was. He'd seen it on the living room table earlier. But some small selfish part of him, okay, maybe some not so small part of him, wanted Rachel's head to explode, so he kept his mouth shut.
"It's mostly your fault," Mercedes was saying to Rachel.
"Yeah," Brittany said in her usual monotone. "When you were dancing on the table you thought it would be funny to throw things around the room. It wasn't." Rachel turned to face them quickly.
"I was dancing on a table?"
"You don't remember anything either, huh," Sam asked.
"Looks like you and Blaine are amnesiacs together," Tina said.
"No Tina," Brittany whispered. "Blaine's gay, remember?" They all looked at her.
"You-," Tina began. "Never mind."
"Okay, you guys," Rachel said, tossing a garbage bag at Finns head. "Help me clean this place up." Kurt looked over at Blaine. He was watching Rachel with an odd expression that made Kurt's stomach turn.
"Actually," he said. "Finn and I have to get home." He stood up. "I've already called us a cab. It should be here any minute now." As he said this, a horn honked outside and Finn stood up, heading out the door.
"Great party Rachel," he said as he exited the kitchen. Kurt turned to Blaine.
"You want a ride?" As much as he disliked the thought of having to share a taxi with Blaine when he didn't remember all that had happened last night, the thought of leaving him here with Rachel was worse. Blaine nodded. Kurt followed Finn out of the kitchen, waving goodbye to his friends at the table.
"Bye Rachel," Blaine called as they left, making Kurt cringe. This was going to be a long car ride.
***
"I was crying when I met you. Now I'm trying to forget you," Kurt sang under his breath as he read about some boring French guy who made some important contribution to history.
"You're love is sweet misery," Blaine sang in his ear, making him jump. "Nice song choice. What are you reading," he asked. Kurt smiled and closed the book.
"Nothing interesting." It had been two days and Blaine had shown no sign of remembering anything from the party.
"Listen Kurt," Blaine said, the smile disappearing from his face. "There's something I've been wanting to ask you." Butterflies erupted in Kurt's stomach.
"Yes?"
"I remember something. Something from the party. At least, I think I do." Kurt bit back a smile. Oh wow. Was this it? Was he going to kiss him again?
"I was…..flying. Or I felt like I was. It was the most amazing feeling."
"You didn't do any drugs, if that's what you're getting at," Kurt joked to hide his nervousness.
"No, no. I mean, I know I didn't, but….." He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "This is more embarrassing than I imagined." He took a deep breath. "It was from a kiss," he blurted out. Kurt smiled and looked down.
"So you remember." Blaine smiled too.
"Yeah. It was incredible. Best kiss of my life. I didn't even know…wow." Kurt blushed.
"I mean," Blaine continued. "Who'd have thought Rachel-" Kurt's head snapped up.
"Rachel?" Blaine looked at him.
"Yeah. You know, during spin the bottle."
"That's the kiss you're talking about?"
"Well it's the only kiss I can remember, and that's what I remember feeling during a kiss. Put two and two together and…"
"But I though you were, you know, into guys." He shrugged.
"I guess I'm bi." Kurt's stomach dropped and a lump grew in his throat. No. This was all wrong. That's what Blaine was supposed to feel when he kissed him, not Rachel.
"So, should I call her or-"
"I have to go," Kurt said, standing up and walking away before Blaine could see the tears.
***
Kurt sat alone with a bowl of popcorn and a tear jerking movie. Finn, his mom, and Kurt's dad had all gone to a football game. Kurt had opted to stay home; football reminded him too much of Blaine. Kurt had done his best to avoid the other boy, but it simply wasn't possible when the two had so many classes together. The worst part was that when the two did speak, all Blaine had to talk about was Rachel. Should he call her? Show up at her school and talk? Kurt would just nod like he was listening, and try to not hear anything Blaine said. And now, he sat at home and tried not to wallow in self pity while stuffing his face with popcorn. It had taken every thread of will power in him to avoid the chocolate, but as the leading characters kissed passionately, Kurt gave in and headed to the kitchen, opening the freezer and taking out a large tub of chocolate ice cream. He grabbed a spoon and took a large bite, leaning back against the counter. The knock on the door made him jump. He walked over with the ice cream, eating another spoonful before opening the door.
"Blaine," he said in surprise, removing the spoon from his mouth. "What are you doing here?"
"I kissed her," he said. Kurt barely held back a wince.
"Yes," he said. "I know. You've told me about ten billion times."
"No. I kissed her again." Oh wonderful. I can actually hear my heart shattering into a million pieces.
"Listen Blaine that's really great, but I was actually just-"
"It wasn't her."
"Wait, I'm confused. You didn't kiss her?"
"I did, but there was no flying."
"Flying?"
"That amazing, incredible feeling, it wasn't from her."
"Oh wasn't it?"
"Kurt, there's something you're not telling me." Kurt looked down. That nervous feeling Blaine always gave him was growing stronger.
"You once said," Blaine continued. "We have always been honest with each other. I'd like to keep that honesty." Kurt sighed, but Blaine did guilt trips well, and Kurt couldn't keep this secret any longer.
"Alright, fine. You did kiss Rachel at the party, but she'd not the only one you-" Apparently Blaine wasn't interested in hearing the rest because, in a second, his lips were on Kurt's. This kiss was a hundred times better than the first. Not just because it was a surprise. Because without the sloppiness and the alcohol, Kurt felt like a million fireworks were going off in his body.
"I knew it," Blaine said pulling away. "I knew it was you. I can't believe I thought I was in love with a girl." Kurt managed to smile through his surprise.
"Aren't you?" Blaine laughed and looked down at the ice cream in Kurt's hand.
"You planning on sharing that ice cream then, Ms. Hummel?" Kurt grinned,
"I may be, if you're willing to come in for a movie." Blaine stepped into the house.
"Well okay, but only for the ice cream." Kurt laughed as Blaine walked further into the house.
"Oh, Blaine?" He turned around and Kurt shoved him a bit.
"That is for making me think you were in love with Rachel Berry."